“We long for Saturdays because that means books. We’re like a bunch of little kids with present. Ordinary people don’t know how much books can mean to someone who’s cooped up. Our only diversions are reading, studying and listening to the radio”.

(Anne Frank – The Diary of a Young Girl)

When frustration hits

“If I can’t catch up then I should just probably eat ketchup instead”

9/4/14

Back when I was desperately trying to balance every single thing

Self Talk

Taken from my personal notes, haha. One of the thing that I usually do. So often that it becomes a habit: To reflect upon myself. This is addressed to me, but I think it’ll be okay to share once in a while 😉

Memang ya, menyampaikan apa yang ada dalam diri kepada orang lain membutuhkan keberanian. Bertahun-tahun aku menulis di buku harian, tidak ada artinya saat harus menulis untuk dibaca oleh orang banyak.

Semakin besar semakin sadar akan batasan-batasan. Apa yang bisa disampaikan dan apa yang sebaiknya disimpan sendiri. Mungkin jika aku menulis blog saat masih anak-anak, yang ditulis akan lebih gamblang, tidak ada yang ditutup-tutupi. Tapi sayangnya tidak (untungnya?).

cr: http://lovemeow.com/2010/07/tiger-the-king-in-his-home/

Saat dewasa, rasa takut semakin besar. Kesadaran akan bahaya semakin tajam. Memang mungkin akan muncul reaksi yang tidak menyenangkan saat kita membuka diri. Mungkin orang lain akan menolak kita, menutup pintunya, menyatakan ketidaksukaannya. Tapi kemunculan itu akan sama besar kemungkinannya dengan muncul orang-orang yang merasa senang, menyambut dan membuka pintu mereka, juga orang-orang yang berkata “Akhirnya kamu datang juga”

(Jangan lari dari takdirmu sendiri, Ai – Detective Conan)

Lari, sembunyi, memang terasa lebih mudah. Kamu tidak perlu berhadapan dengan kemungkinan-kemungkinan itu. Yang kamu hadapi hanya dirimu, orang-orang yang sudah kamu kenal baik, dan kenyataan.

Ya, kenyataan.

Kenyataan bahwa kamu akan merasa takut selamanya. Bahwa kamu sebenarnya kesepian. Karena tidak pernah mau mencoba membuka dan melangkah keluar, yang kamu tahu hanya rasa takut ditolak, tidak disukai. Padahal mungkin rasa takut itu akan berganti dengan rasa lega, rasa bangga dan bahagia.

Kan kubilang, kemungkinannya sama besar.

Bersembunyi dari kemungkinan keduanya. Kemudian berlindung pada ilusi bahwa kamu tidak apa-apa sendirian. Lebih baik sendirian

(Tidak ada orang yang suka menyendiri – The Extra Kobayashi)

Benar. Tidak ada. Termasuk kamu, kan?

Ingatlah bahwa penolakan itu hanya masalah kecocokkan. Kamu akan diterima, pada akhirnya, oleh orang-orang yang benar-benar menyukaimu karena merasa cocok denganmu. Dan itu berarti tidak semua orang bisa menerimamu, sama dengan kamu yang tidak bisa selalu cocok dengan semua orang.

Buka saja pintunya. Ceritakan pada dunia kisah hidupmu. Sebenarnya hidupmu tidak perlu terlalu dirahasiakan kok, kecuali kamu buronan. Tidak perlu menunggu sampai mati untuk menceritakan kisahmu pada orang lain.

Biar saja apapun yang mau orang lain katakan tentangmu, karena sebetulnya mereka lebih banyak berpikir tentang diri mereka kok. Sama seperti kamu yang sering cemas memikirkan apa yang orang lain pikir tentang kamu, mereka juga begitu.

Jadi, tenang saja 🙂

18/2/13 12.00 AM

“I didn’t want …

“I didn’t want to be ordinary” I mumbled. My mother looked up. “What’s ordinary, Charley?”
“You know, someone you forget” (For One More Day – Mitch Albom)

Book Report: Bukan di Negeri Dongeng

Hello! After arguing with my own self about what to post in the blog, I finally decided to write a book report that for all this time is kept in the shelf. This is one of my holiday project: to write a report after I read a book. Unfortunately it’s written in Indonesian, and to translate it into English, I guess, will change the feels that I put when I wrote it. (or it can also be because I’m lazy to do so). Anyway, here we go!

Bukan di Negeri Dongeng adalah kumpulan kisah-kisah nyata tentang para aktivis dan pengurus PKS (Partai Keadilan Sejahtera). Buku ini disusun oleh, salah satunya, Helvy Tiana Rosa. Kisahnya memang singkat-singkat tapi isinya luar biasa. Inspiratif sih.

cr: kalengkentang

Dari semua ceritanya bisa ditarik benang merah: kalau mereka adalah orang-orang yang sebisa mungkin memanfaatkan waktu yang dimiliki untuk berbuat baik dan bermanfaat bagi orang banyak. Gimana ya, mereka cuma tidak punya waktu untuk hal-hal yang tidak berguna dan tidak penting. Mereka selalu punya waktu untuk berdakwah, membantu sesama, belajar, membantu urusan rumah tangga, merawat keluarga, dan lainnya. 24 jam hanya untuk yang baik. Waktu tidur mereka rata-rata 4-5 jam sehari. Quote yang tepat tuh, bisa jadi ini:

“Hidup memang hanya sekali dan kau tak ingin sedetik pun melewatinya tanpa perjuangan” (HTR)

Ada juga inspirasi lain soal ketulusan. Mostly, mereka dalam buku ini, adalah orang-orang yan selalu berusaha menjaga silaturahim dan benar-benar menganggap sesama muslim sebagai saudaranya. Benar-benar bisa sedih dan menangis saat saudaranya sedang kesusahan. Berusaha selalu membantu sebisanya. Ini, salah satu hal yang masih harus mly pribadi tingkatkan.

Mereka juga memegang teguh islam dan selalu percaya sepenuhnya pada Allah SWT serta janji-janjiNya. Tidak pernah merasa takut kekurangan atau sengsara. Hebat.

Buku ini dibagi ke dalam enam bab kisah yang semuanya inspirasional. Personally, it motivates me to be a better moslem. 🙂

“Our world that we’re supposed to live in isn’t inside the internet. In the real world, there’s a lot of suffering, things don’t always go our ways. But, if you have a dream of becoming something, you shouldn’t run away from that. You should accept yourself the way you are.”

(Kyuu – Tantei Gakuen Q)

Bare-handed

I’m currently watching the third season of Gokusen. So, once again Yankumi became the teacher of the most rebellious class 3-D, now in Akadou high school. I like how the students are getting harder to handle each season. In season 3 they become more ignorant and the number one problem is they don’t have the solidarity like in the previous two 3-Ds. The two leaders in the class was about to fight one-on-one to decide who’s gonna lead the class from now on, with actually no real reason why they wanted to be the number one in the first place. Yankumi came in on time before they’re going to hit each other with a stick, no longer bare-handed. And there she said to both of them what is the purpose of real fight, which is not just about winning or losing.  

“Stop playing around. A one-on-one is supposed to be bare-handed”

“Weather bare-handed or armed, winning is all that matters in a fight”

“You didn’t stop us yesterday, did you? So why the hell are you stopping us now?”

“Because yesterday was bare-handed. Listen up. When you hit someone your own fists hurt right? If you feel that pain you shouldn’t want to hit someone with no good reason”

“We don’t need lecture on hitting someone. A fight is fought in order to win!”

“A fight is to protect those comrades and other things that are precious to you. Fighting just for yourself is meaningless.

“You know, one does not make quite intimate friends. Just one or two people. The rest of them, I mean, they like each other and all that, but you don’t really go to any trouble to see them again. But one or two you do. Well, Judith was one of the ones I did want to see again.”

(Mrs.Oliver – Hallowe’en Party)

Goal Keeper

“Which position is the only unique position in any singular soccer team? Correct answer: The goal keeper. You’d think they’d  be good since they’re the only ones using their hands, right? But actually it’s not a good thing. They’re always in the state of nervousness that someone may shoot a goal and they have to protect the goal all by themselves. So it’s lonely, and mostly difficult. And, you’re a goal keeper. I know it’s a very difficult position, stay strong!”

(Enrique Geum to Go Dokmi)

Promise ring

Once I coincidentally watched this movie on TV named: Courageous (2011). This movie takes four police officers as the main roles, to pictures the point of view of a husband and father. You can find and watch the movie if you want to know the details. Anyway, I found this one scene stuck in my head, as I think this is a good way to explain to all daughters how fathers feel about their daddy’s little daughters growing up and getting married someday. So, shortly the father in this video, was kind of strict to his daughter when it comes to boys, he set rules and even confront the man who wants to date his daughter. Then, he may feel a little harsh to his daughter so he takes her to dinner to explains what he really thinks about it.

“Jade I brought you here because I want to tell you how grateful I am that God gave you to me. I see my daughter becoming a beautiful young woman, and I can understand how any young man would drawn to you. But I will also want you to know that as your father I want the very best for you. One day I’ll give you a way to another man, and I want that man to love God more than anything, because if he does then he’ll love you. And I know how young men think, they wanna win your heart, but they don’t know how to treasure it. So, I’d like to make an agreement with you. Jade, if you trust me with your heart, then allow me to prove any young men that desires to have more than a friendship with you, I promise to take care of you and give you my full blessing when God shows us the right one”

I think, it’s great to have this conversation with you father. you may already know and understand that all of it is just love, but to hear it directly form you father’s mouth will be different. I had this kind of talk too but not exactly, just enough to know that he actually cares and only want the very best for each of his daughters. I believe every father feel the same. I’ll always remember it whenever I feel agitated by his nagging haha.

love you, daddy <3.

yes yes yes.